end of an era

how surreal. my youngest, my baby sister, was married yesterday. i still feel surprised when i see her sometimes - in my mind she's still a little 6 year old and i'm crawling under the bed looking for her shoes. and now i have a kind-of brother. yep... none of this has sunken in yet. here are some highlights of the last four days:
-the most amazing nap in the hammock (the second-best ever, actually). i cannot describe how enjoyable it was.
-the downpour right before b's wedding. i loved it! how memorable. us all running for the shelter house, getting wet. no instruments got wet.
-hearing one of my favorite bob marley songs unexpectedly three times: on the radio driving home, in a movie, playing while decorating... i think it's called "three little birds"
-hanging out with my family, and my aunts and uncles (my mom's siblings). they live all over the place so we don't get to see them all together much. we had a great time dancing together!
-singing with my sister em. we always do when we're together, and it's probably one of my favorite things to do. i wish we could more.

the end.

what i've been doing

so i've gotten on here several times in the last 24 days with intentions to write something, but then didn't. i think i'm too stuck on wanting things (like my thoughts) to be neat and tidy and entire, and when i can't make them come out that way i just get frustrated. but this is my blog, so i guess i can just do whatever i want and let things be as disjointed as they end up being. fancy that.

i learned a word today: clodpate, which refers to a foolish or bone-headed person. i then felt like a clodpate over looking up a word in the dictionary (an abridged one, mind you) that didn't actually exist. i can't help it that i believe people too much! well now i know. my clodpate moment for the day. : ) what a great word, though.

more and more baking... my motivation to cook actual food is waning (when cooking for myself, anyway) and it seems that the baking and making of sweetish things grows! let's see... there were little rhubarb tartlets, and there was a french silk pie, and a sour cherry pie, and a hazelnutty-chocolate birthday cake, and maybe some chocolate-chocolate chip cookies in there somewhere. oh, and some rhubarb-strawberry ice cream-type thing. i'd like to make this rosemary pound cake with stewed apples that i made a year or so ago, but i can't find my directions... just experiment i guess. i have been called a mad scientist. i will be baking this weekend more - cookies for my sister's wedding reception (pecan rounds and mint layer brownies) and a rhubarb pie and something else yet to be determined for a lunch gathering on sunday. baking and feeding people makes me glad.

i think i'd like to try writing poetry more. it's something to practice, like anything, and i think i'll just start writing odds and ends without worrying about the end result. maybe what i'm writing isn't even poetry, but i'll call it that because it's in short lines. i re-found two that i had written in the last couple months. i don't have them right here at the moment but maybe i'll put them on this thing later. here's one for right now!

a slender leaf
a gnat
both on the other side of this window
but the sun! the sun
patchy and warm on my feet

may is no more

I'm writing this mainly because today is June 1, and if I wait until tomorrow it will be June 2. Which is my half-birthday, actually.
I'm thinking about stopping at a donut shop in Lancaster that I heard about - apparently they have the best donuts in the world. It's called "Donut World" and it's the size of a closet, so I'm told.
My life-long friend Rachel is married (which is good! she and Yohanan are better together than apart) and I'm filled with joy for her and them, but changes are always a process. They're off to Seattle.
My dad has a motorcycle now. It's red and I'm going to drive it soon.
I have to go drive in my car now.