florida

There are a pile of young, green coconuts on my parents' table. Josh and Beka brought them up from West Palm Beach, where Josh cut them out of people's palm trees while Beka kept watch. Nice work. My first time drinking the water from a green coconut was while visiting B this past spring: Josh cut it from a tree, cut the top off, and that was that. I have to say, it was probably the most refreshing thing I've ever drank. And I was standing by the ocean, which made the experience even more vivid. That whole week had some pretty vivid moments, actually, particularly when in the everglades for a day. Lots of alligators, and a green heron catching a fish, and "herping" (which I have learned is the technical term for snake-catching, not "snaking"), and other things.

ouch

Yesterday I visited the local pet store, which I think is called Fish n' Stuff. It's pretty great. They have lots of fish and corals and reptiles, and rodents. I like looking at the crazy colorful fish; the problem with them, though, is that they're not very good for holding. But rodents! So soft and small! They had this one little guy called a Spiny Mouse, which kind of looks like a tiny hedge hog only without spines and just some bristly parts in his fur. I was quite taken with him, and the owner let me hold him for a while. It was all going swimmingly and I was having thoughts of doing something impulsive like taking him home with me right then. Unfortunately he and I didn't seem to be on the same wavelength and he let me know by gingerly taking a bite of my finger. Ouch. My finger, now punctured, bruised and bloodied, was only a representation of the real damage done to my small animal-loving soul. Maybe Spiny was just having a bad day. I hope we can be reconciled.

tickled

Isn't it great when unexpected things happen? When I opened my eyes yesterday morning and peered out from my blankety cave, what greeted me but beautiful SNOW! It took me completely by surprise and immediately I started laughing. I'm not sure if I've ever woken up laughing before, but I'd like to more often. What a great way to begin a day.

eyes

Today a former resident came to the house to get some of her things. It was funny, because I had just been thinking about her and her son, wondering how they were, where they were... uncanny how often that happens. I was suprised and glad to see her, but also saddened. She just looked crushed somehow, defeated. Her eyes had pain.

She's going far away, and I don't suppose I'll see her again. It's so strange how we step in and out of each other's lives. I'm not sure what to do with that.

I love this picture of the four of us. A sister sandwich. It's from Thanksgiving 2006, I think.

I had plans to lie in front of my parents' pellet stove and sleep, but got distracted. Even though that didn't work out, the most delicious nap still came over me this afternoon. Then I woke up and my mom and I walked through the candle-lit streets of Granville. Pretty but cold. We came home and I talked her into making caramel corn (she had been asking me what special cake or dessert I wanted for my birthday and I couldn't even think! Caramel corn seemed right. Thankfully I still have tomorrow to make that important decision). I plan on eating large quantities of it very soon. Unfortunately I forgot to add peanuts...

dino friends

Recently dinosaurs have been on my mind. I don't know why. Things like that just come to me sometimes. And I don't mean I've been thinking deep thoughts about them or their demise; I mean there actually are cartoonish pictures of them floating through my brain - mostly the large, long-necked, slow and gentle herbivore-type. It all started last week when I was painting with my friend Andrea. She was finishing up this amazing, firey flower, and I was pondering what to put on my own blank paper... and after only a few minutes I knew it had to be a dino. It just seemed right. The scene became quite complicated, involving a bear and a spewing volcano. But anyway, I thought that would be the end of such thoughts. Then two days ago I was looking through a National Geographic magazine that had come in to the Timothy House and I opened to a two-sided poster of more amazing extinct reptiles! I couldn't have been more pleased.

squash

I decided it was time I face my fears and see what spaghetti squash is all about. The main problem with spaghetti squash, it would seem, is in the name: it tastes nothing like spaghetti. Kind of like how soy milk tastes nothing like milk - so if you go into it expecting some sort of resemblance, you're in for a big disappointment and probably won't like it at all. I knew this and was eager to experience this squash in all its natural squashiness. So I baked, I forked, I cooked it up and put onions with tomatoes and rosemary on top and some cheese... it was great! I think squash and I are becoming great friends.

the good crazy

It's about 7am and I've been awake off and on for the last 3 hours. Great. I seem to have this ongoing problem with sleeping... I finally went out on the couch and had a strange dream that combined major people and situations from the last 8 years of my life. Entertaining at least.

Well my dad and I have this tradition (meaning, we did it last year and a second time makes it a tradition) of walking/running together on Thanksgiving morning. Which is great, but right now I'm feeling particularly unmotivated and ready for my first of hopefuly several naps for the day. My sisters Rach and B (Em isn't home yet) are in bed, and will be for a while I think. We all slept in one room last night and it was a bit riotous... lots of tickle-monster attacks and shrieking by Beka, while Rachel kept on singing a few lines from some song she heard on her independant radio station called "the perfect crime" or something like that. They bring out the crazy in me - the good-crazy. More to come...

green and purple

Yesterday at the farmer's market I got a vegetable I've never had: tak choy, some sort of "asian green". I like bok choy, so I figured I'd probably like this too. So last night I pulled it out to cook some and found it had partially frozen! What?! My refridgerator still has problems, apparently. I cooked it anyway and put it in a corn tortilla and it was delicious, in its greenish way. Moving to the other side of the globe and the southern hemisphere... I also purchased some purple peruvian potatoes which reminded me so much of one of the many kinds of potatoes we ate in Bolivia: very small and dark, quite purple. One of the hundreds of varities you can find down there. I loved the potato section of the mercado central - so many potatoes! All colors and shapes! I'm glad someone up here thought to grow some.

different and good

Some friends reminded me of joy last night. How could I forget? We pasteled with bright colors and it was great. My picture kind of ended up looking like a swirly blob, but it felt good making it. And I especially liked the blue colors around the edge. If I had a picture-taking machine I would put it here. It was also great and mesmorizing watching my friends put colors and shapes on their canvases. All different and all good.

stuff of life

I've been thinking a lot the last couple months about this business of loving people, what it really means to love. Sometimes there's part of me that wants to draw back, to distance myself from involvement and feeling and entering into a person's life and suffering more. To just say "No more, I'm done" and they move on and I don't think about them anymore. Because it's just HARD and messy and there aren't solid rules. And it takes a lot more sacrifice and effort than I sometimes want to give - much more than just having good feelings toward someone. And it means possibly failing. And it means my own heart my suffer in the process. Jesus suffered greatly in loving us. Shouldn't our loving look similar to that? I read that "Compassion is hard because it requires the inner disposition to go with others to the place where they are weak, vulnerable, lonely, and broken," and also, "Love is a harsh and dreadful thing to ask of us, but it is the only answer." If loving people becomes easy, is it really love? If there is not struggle and suffering, is my compassion genuine or merely a good feeling?

explosions

Sometimes there's so much to say that it must either all come out at once, or not at all. Seems like I usually get stuck with the not at all part. But I suppose that's my own fault. I have an ongoing fear that when I speak it is not valuable or worth hearing and that others are uninterested. I know that's silly. But still real.

and something else

Sometimes it's good to make lists of things you like. It's good to celebrate smalls things. Like these - all from today (mostly):


hot chocolate on the stove
finding neat leaves all different colors, and flattening them
the warm sun
getting close to finishing a journal
toaster ovens
hope
seeing a hawk fly

They're all glimpses of something.

well...

I'm really doing this because I need a diversion. I never planned on doing this blog-thing. I probably won't even write anything on here! Ha! I'm house/dog/cat sitting, and the night is cool and clear, and I'm going to go outside soon and enjoy the starry sky that I can't usually see from my house with the big streetlight so nearby. And there may be pizza involved.