a short write

I didn't sleep last night, again, although this time I could blame it on my parents' couch. I should have moved to the spare bed, but once you get warm (and there's a pellet stove blowing hot air four feet from you) why move? I was feeling frazzled all evening (changes in plans does that to me sometimes, and purchasing large things I don't understand, like cars) and was resolved to just watch tv until my mind stopped... which turned into watching a movie (Once, I think it was called), but after about an hour of that I just wasn't really interested. so I read. I'm nearly finished with a book of selected writings of Dorothy Day, and she's been giving me much to think on. Too much - I feel like I have to pick and choose. There are a lot of things I'd like to write about here, and maybe later I'll put some thoughts, but not this morning. She talks a lot about love, and the difficulty of actually loving people in action and not just in dreams. She quotes a character from The Brothers Karamazov when she says, "Love in practice is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams." It's even dangerous to write of such things; it is so easy just to talk, to be stirred in my heart while my life remains unchanged. Well I want to say more about this but my time is limited. To end, the other short tidbit from her (she was speaking of their community in general) that I wrote on a scrap of paper says, "We want land, bread, work, children, and the joys of community in play and work and worship." Yes. These are good things, many of the important things that life boils down to. I want to live more in a way that embraces these simple, meaningful things. I want to love more deeply and truly. I want to write more about these things and share them (which scares me a little), but now I really have to get dressed and go buy a little car. I think it is blue.

Good morning, sun. Good morning, chickadee and wood-pewee.